Why on Earth would I choose Blogger.com?

I have a long history with this website. While it is painful for me to discuss parts of our story, I will attempt to use painstaking detail in describing the tragic series of events leading up to our eventual reuniting.

When I was but a youthful scamp (eight years old or so), me and Blogger.com could often be seen frolicking through meadows and pastures, embarking on epic quests and various adventures together. We were inseparable; blood brothers until the very end. One day, as we sat on the local seesaw, however, cruel fate took its course.
On that wretched day, I had acquired a verily coveted Pokemon card. Partially holographic, this coruscant treasure was my most prized possession. With over 100 HP, Charizard was the height of artistic innovation and aesthetic joy.
Blogger.com recognised this fact.
Experts say that the severest of trauma is usually repressed by the individual's subsconscious self. I can safely say that they are lying, as I vividly recall his greedy hand reaching for the card; the grubby paws of a thief straining to reach this most cherished of items.

Surprised by this treacherous ambuscade, I was not quick enough to prevent the tragedy. All I could do was hold on to what I loved for dear life, hoping that my will would somehow convince this now-vile creature to relinquish its grip.
Blogger.com did no such thing, as he violently pulled with unworldly strength.
What happened next is something that I may never truly forgive.
The awful tearing sound reverberates inside of my skull to this day, as I watched Charizard's torso being torn apart from his lower half.
My card had been destroyed, and I would never be the same again.

For years me and Blogger.com had a silent feud, and I grew increasingly bitter with every passing second. By now, I was 16, and I had been mentally preparing a scathing diatribe for one final confrontation. Blogger.com would soon experience the full extent of my wrath. As I typed those dreaded words into my browser, years of shared experiences came rushing back to me. While he had destroyed my youthful ignorance of the world we truly were, and always will be, blood brothers. He was my best friend for years, and that is something I can express nothing but gratitude for. Pokemon has long since faded, but we both remained. I signed in, and immediately knew that Blogger.com felt nothing but regret for the shameful behaviour that has shaped our collective identities. Me and Blogger.com were back; this time with a new outlook on life.

In all seriousness, I chose this blog because it is a well-respected and renowned blogging medium. Blogger.com is relatively user-friendly, allowing personal touches to be added as well as providing a stable, versatile format. While I am not usually a fan of blogging communities as such, this particular one appears rather painless in relation to others. I decided to choose an international blog as opposed to one with a clearly 'New Zealand' identity (such as blog.co.nz), allowing for a greater target audience, giving me an increased opportunity to receive comments. Although occasionally my contributions to this blog may seem facetious, I find it infinitely more interesting to read lengthy tales of an incredible nature than reading minute details regarding a stranger's breakfast.
Unless it was an extremely good breakfast, that is.

An introduction.

I reside in the freezing depths of Dunedin; a relatively small city near the bottom of New Zealand. Often plagued by chthonic sightings and brutal Hobbit raids, it's quite an extraordinary place to be. Our local economy depends largely on international tourists, relying on both their personal expenditure (Mick Murray figurines - two for only $44.95 +GST!), and their small stature, allowing our local array of thugs and general goons to mug them with a minimal degree of difficulty.

Frequently bordering on grandiloquent, I often employ the continuous use of an esoterically verbose vocabulary in an ill-disguised attempt to veil the fact that I have very little of value to add to blog posts.
Irrelevant and abrupt changes may also occur when I inadvertently tell the online world my secrets. Do you remember Paddington Bear? He loved marmalade sandwiches. I hope you do remember Paddington Bear.

I'm currently studying IT at the Otago Polytechnic, and occasionally surface from the comfort of the computer rooms (also referred to as 'irl') to engage in mortal combat with forest elves, hill giants, and my arch-rival/bandmate Mike Lamb. Shapes are my main passion in life, and guide me in every decision I make. As I am writing this, I am thinking of new (and increasingly elaborate) ways to obtain them.


Entirely unrelated.