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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Dream exceeds expectation - Mother suspected of witchcraft.

--Dunedin, New Zealand
Last night, local boy Billy Carragher, 10, found himself sleeping peacefully after a hard day's work.

"I had been to soccer and stuff and was getting sort of tired, so I went to bed early. My mom said 'sweet dreams' I think - I didn't really pay much attention. I wanted to sleep and she's always saying stuff like that anyway."

What happened next would amaze even the most skeptical of readers:
The mother's command became a reality, as Billy suddenly began experiencing an increase in brain activity. His cholinergic PGO waves began to stimulate his mid and fore-brain sections, as he found himself trapped in a state which is scientifically known as 'Rapid Eye Movement' (REM) sleep.


"It was totally sweet - there were even racecars and flying dogs and stuff! When mom said 'sweet dreams' I was all like 'yeah right' but dude, this was so sweet."

While this may seem harmless to some, critics of the mother (Mrs. Alice Carragher, a 34 year-old homemaker) have demanded a public debate on whether her magical powers could be used for the purpose of evil.
James Witford, chairman of the Dunedin Association for Concerned Citizens (DACC) has called for the immediate capture of Alice Carragher for interrogation purposes.
"Sure, she can make her own kid have a 'sweet' dream, but what if she decides to make you suffer night terrors? Dreams can influence the way we think subconsciously. Trust me, I have a friend who has a PhD in this kind of thing.
She's a menace, and must be stopped if we want to protect our society! Vote Witford for Chairman '08."


Alice Carragher has refused to make herself available for any comment regarding this matter, but has been rumoured to have a history of suspicious behaviour.
Carragher's neighbour, Joyce Bartlett, has stated:
"I heard this really strange noise a few nights ago - it was like a plate or a glass breaking in the middle of the night. I got up to see what it was, and surely enough I saw a black cat in my living room. It must have come in through the window. I started calmly telling it to get out, but all it did was look at me in the same way that Alice does sometimes. It was this odd mixture of curiosity and empathy. Please, Alice, if you're reading this - let us help you. This isn't your fault."


The local population remains divided over this issue, as the situation continues to escalate.
Billy's father has openly displayed dismay at the public outcry:
"What's wrong with you people? Is this a joke or something?
The only thing Alice did was tell our child to have a good night, and if that's a crime, consider her guilty."

With an admission of her guilt from someone so close to Mrs. Carragher, Detective Constable James Myers of the Dunedin police force claimed he had 'no choice' but to issue a warrant for her arrest.
An open witch-hunt has been declared, but the crafty mother seems to have disappeared.
If anyone has any leads regarding the whereabouts of Alice Carragher, please contact your local police station.

LEFT - An artist's rendering of Alice Carragher.

2 comments:

Neighbourhood Nerd said...

my brain wants to marry your brain.

MZHuny said...

Durn..no cash?? Oh well..cool blog anywho..stop by my way sometime too..adios.